I am affected by Buhari’s death because everybody’s death diminishes the human stock. ( See ‘for whom the bell tolls’ in John Done( 1632) Meditation 17, Devotions upon emerging occasions), more popularised by Ernest Hemingway’s For whom the bell tolls , 1940). However, I have also come across this admonition to the living to ‘Live your life in such a way that preachers do not have to lie at your funeral’ (https://paulalcorn.com/liv...). Iit is also seen as uncharitable and even cowardly to chastise a dead person, who is no longer in a position to defend himself or make any clarifications. While I am diminished by the death of this dictator_‘democrat’, I do not want to lie intentionally so as not to increase the tallies against me when the roll is calls up yonder. I also do not want to badmouth a person who cannot defend himself . Consequently, in this tribute to PMB( GMB is more like it), I will say those things that I said when PMB was here to defend himself. This is a three-part affair and the first, was published in BusinessDay,22/11/18
Eureka:
There are Three Buhari’s, NOT two
A
key feature of Buharian presidency was the politics of health,
which impacted adversely on the health of the polity. At a time, he always had
something to do in London and his numerous foreign trips were routed through
London, leading to his epochal 100day medical trip. The day he returned, he was
so frail that the wind was almost tossing him about. One day however, he
travelled as usual, returned as usual but started bouncing unusually. He became
so vibrant and energetic that everybody,
including the son of man, noticed the new and improved PMB. I
concluded that it was ‘oyibo scientific magic’ at work and I left it at
that. Before long however, we heard
that the bouncing fellow was ‘Buhari 2’
sourced from Sudan to replace PMB! I did not believe so because the British
media and Julian Assange_ WikiLeaks would have blown the whistle loudly and
unmistakably. After a while, the story died or so I thought.
However there was a recrudescence of
that story, with facts, figures, names and places being bandied about. Somebody
sent me images comparing and contrasting the heads, fingers. faces, ears, necks
of PMB1 and those of the imagined PMB2.
Nnamdi Kanu has been at the vanguard of this Two-Buhari theory, insisting that
there is the Buhari we know and the Buhari we don’t know. I don’t agree with
them and so, I want to start my own story; that unequivocally, there are three
Buharis, all from Daura!
The first one is Buhari The Soldier, Governor of North Eastern
State, Commissioner of Petroleum and Natural Resources, Head of State
(31/12/83-27/8/85) and PTF boss. He was ruthless, ruled by draconian and
retroactive decrees and brooked no opposition. That Buhari fought several wars:
against corruption, indiscipline, and hard drugs. He contended with change of currency,
Umaru-Dikko affair, 53 suitcases and the disappearance of $2.8bn from NNPC
(that same NNPC; no be today). Nigerians
then ‘enjoyed’ the harshest economic reality and his management of PTF left a
lot to be desired (financial corruption, parochialism).
.
The second is Buhari the Saint and Democrat! GMB
repackaged himself and became a Saint; a man of integrity and a
‘democrat’. As a saint_democrat ,he sought to lead Nigeria in 2003 and 2007 (ANPP), 2011 ( CPC) and
2015, when he became 4th time lucky under APC, courtesy of his pact with
Tinubu, the Goodluck factor (conceding defeat), and the saint brand. It was one
of the wonders of the modern world that the draconian Buhari who
pauperised the people, and mismanaged the Ministry of Petroleum and PTF,
was repackaged and sold to Nigerians as a saint!
As at 2015, most Nigerians were willing to swear by this PMB2! Merely mouthing
his name made one a saint and the only
indicator of progressivism was a picture with Buhari2. It took him 6 months to assemble his cabinet, body language
became an instrument of state policy and most promises were denied or redefined
but the sainthood mantra prevailed.
Bukola Saraki, Shehu Sanni, and Dele Momodu were amongst his
cheerleaders while the anointing by Fr Mbaka and Tunde Bakari was so thick that
it did not evaporate. Nigerians made excuses for Buhari2 and gave him the
latitude to do whatever he wanted and even when he doubled the prices of
petrol, we clapped.
Then we have Buhari3, the unmasked
PMB. The transformation from the Saint to the unmasked was seamless and
unnoticeable. People just started noticing some contradictions between the
activities, utterances and policies of Buhari2 and Buhari3. Everything became a
Daura or northern affair; corruption cases were treated with insecticides and
deodorants depending on the culprits
political or ethnic divide; and rather than belonging to everybody, he belonged
to those who gave him 95% votes, most of whom are cattle owners or herdsmen. Suddenly, his cheerleaders started singing discordant
tunes because their saint has been unmasked. Now, those who staked all for Buhari2, beat hasty retreats and formed an Association of Buhari’s Former Friends
(ABFFs).
That is the end of my story. I have done this nation a great service by
proving that there are three Buharis, (
not 2), all from Daura. This is more straightforward and verifiable than the Two-Buhari Theory,
which has led to unnecessary
disputations, and has the potential to cause diplomatic rows. I hope that this
service to Nigeria will be recognized at the next national honours awards.
Buhari’s Report Card and the Esama
Hypothesis
This second part from my archives was
published in the Guardian of 14/1/19
Everybody, or almost
everybody, reading this piece ought to know His Excellency, Sir, Chief,
Dr, Gabriel Osawaru Igbinedion, CON, CFR, LLD, D.Litt, GCKB; The Hon
Chancellor, Chairman Board of Regents and proprietor of Igbinedion University,
and The Esama of Benin. I hope I succeeded in assembling all his titles
and I apologise if his appellation has taken 10% of this article. He is a
colourful and flamboyant entrepreneur, known in those days for Okada Air
(commercial motorcycles got their alias-okada-from his airline),
Canada-Dry soft drinks, Igbinedion hospital etc etc. However, beyond all
this, very few people still remember the Esama Hypothesis, which is where
my interest is today.
Lucky Igbinedion, a
member of the class of ’99 had the singular dishonor of being the first member
of his class to be convicted for corruption. Never mind that the sentence was
laughable as he was sentenced to 6 months imprisonment for money laundering (N25bn
was involved) and through plea-bargaining, ended up paying a fine of
N3.5m!. Back to the main issue, he sought a second term but his chances were
bleak because of his woeful performance. When Chief Igbinedion was campaigning
for Lucky’s re-election in 2003 and Edo people told him that his
son didn’t do well in office, he declared that ‘Pickin wey no
do well for one class must repeat that class’ (if a child fails a
class, he must repeat the class). In effect, he admitted that his son did not
do well but used the fail-repeat analogy to plead that his son be
re-elected despite his woeful performance in office. The people agreed with him
or their votes were manipulated and the lucky Lucky spent two terms and as
one writer put, he ‘left the state in ruins’. That is the Esama hypothesis,
which states that a failure should be given a second chance. Of course, The
Esama said so because that was what he knew then or what was convenient
for him. I don’t think he will support that hypothesis today because as the
proprietor of Igbinedion University, he knows that when a student fails
serially, he is ‘advised’ to withdraw or to park and went as one
man in neighbouring village once said. That is why his declaration could not be
elevated to a theory because it is not true in all circumstances.
On12/12/18, President
met with the 36 governors and the key take away from that meeting, according to
Governor Yari, Chairman of the Nigerian Governors Forum, was that the president
told them that the economy was still in a bad shape. He also urged
Nigerians to still tighten their belts and prepare for tougher times ahead!
This is PMBs self-assessment. We all know that PMB and APC made 1001
promises, which the Great Lai eventually reduced to three, with the economy as
NUMBER 1. It is obvious that the Nigerian economy is still in a bad shape but
what is more interesting is that the President admitted so. In any case, I
don’t think he has much option. An economy that was growing at 7% in 2015 is
now struggling at 1.8% and that is against APC promise making it one of the
fastest growing emerging economies with growth rate of 10-12%; has become the
poverty capital of the world, (91m in extreme poverty as at 31/12/18 as
against 87m 6 months earlier, and that was while global poverty level is
declining), has the 5th highest level of unemployment across the globe
(22.7% as against 8.5% in 2015, and 43% when underemployment is included) and a
misery index of 35%( from 17% in 2015). So, PMB has scored himself F
in economic management. And according to Channels TV analysts on
1/1/19, there is not much hope because 2019 promises a cocktail of
fear, anxiety and uncertainty.
The matter would have
rested there had the President not gone ahead a few days later to reawaken the
Esama Hypothesis. As he marked his 76th birthday on 17/2/18, his
request from Nigerians was to ‘pray for me, understand my intentions and
give me more time’! The President who agreed without any prodding that
he had failed on the economic front turned around a few days later to ask for
more time and thus holding on to the Esama hypothesis. And we are to give him
more time based on his intentions! He has forgotten that the hypothesis
could not be elevated to a theory because it is not universally applicable and
one instance of this is the university environment in which serial failure
is rewarded with expulsion. In any case, Tony Momoh had asked us to stone PMB
and the APC if they failed to perform within two years and we are almost 4
years gone. So, what do we do to somebody who promises heaven on earth, admits
that he has failed and asks us to give him more time? Time will tell.
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The Three Buhari Theory is quite insightful
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