State of the Country: Olympics, Seized Planes, Subsidies, Ndume’s Apologies & BATs Machines! - Ik Muo, PhD

 
Most of my friends must have become used to my  most famous invention, the  FPA( Front Page Analyses)  research method.  No abstracts, or concept notes, no long stories, no hypotheses, no Chi-square et al and yet, it always yields  incorruptible outcomes.  What World Bank would fund with billions and  will take  NISER  one year of field work  to concretise will take just a few hours, 20 litres of fuel and 1gb of data to complete! It is famous because it is easy, simple and  attracts no questions because it is self-explicit. Two weeks ago, we were overawed by the  PaP( Protest against Protest) and then the  real thing; End-HuBaGo(End Hunger & Bad Governance) protests.   My apriori expectations were met because the government did not disappoint as they prodigiously deployed lies, propaganda, divisive  strategies (in a country standing in brotherhood) and brutality. There were also looting and mindless destruction of properties.    When the protests ended or were rather suspended, I took out time to look at  what the front pages said about the State of the Nation or rather, the State of the country, because we are yet  to become a nation, and here we are.

I did not even remember that we went for the Olympics until one ‘jokist’ wondered why we were missing in action from boxing  even though we have 1001 practicing thugs at Mushin, Oshodi, Mile 2 and Ojuelegba. However, that my friend appeared to have forgotten that drug-test is mandatory in such sporting events. Then the final medal table was released and Nigeria scored  a deafening zero, after committing N12b to sponsor 82 athletes ( more than the number for the last Olympics). I have searched for the number of officials but I have hit a deadwall.  I wont be surprised if the officials and their ‘handbags’  outnumbered the athletes.  Meanwhile, in this same olympics, USA won 126 medals out of which athletes from Standford University accounted for 39!

And then, we had the Ese Ukpesereye  factor! Ese had to borrow a bicycle for the competition from the kind-hearted German team because of the short notice. I have not asked who or what was responsible for that short notice. But that is not the end of the story. She further  bemoaned the unfortunate situation in which cyclists could not, and cannot, train at the Velodrome( the one which collapsed before it was commissioned?) because it  was, and is, always rented out  for religious activities. Hear her: "One of the most expensive sports venues in the world is in Nigeria, which has a beautiful wooden velodrome. But since it's rented out for religious services and other activities for most of the year, bikers are not permitted to train there’ You see what I mean? We fund the construction of one of the best training facilities in the world and then deny sportspeople access to it  because we  prioritise IGR from  religious and social events! Of course, Nigeria is one of the most ‘churcheous’ countries in the world,  and a  report has  just shown that  Nigerian Catholics  scored   94% Mass-attendance( A++), the highest in the world with Kenya coming a distant second at 74%. That is why it was ‘reported’ that Team Nigeria, decked with large-sized Bibles and Qurans was unanimously  nominated to say the closing prayers. I also learnt that our strategy for the games revolved around prayers and miracles! But I learnt that Nigerians eventually won a ‘medal’ and other ‘prizes’ off the field!

Then I was led in the spirit to read a  pre-Olympic report in the Punch of 26/7/24 by one Godwin Aikigbe titled ‘N12bn Olympic budget: Is Nigeria on another Jamboree in Paris?’ The reporter based his question on poor preparations and controversies, especially in the  selection of athletes. Sure, the reporter had an uncommon  gift of prophecy because it ended up being a jamboree. Why did we go since the evidences  of woeful outcomes abound? Because  the giANT of Africa must be there (after all, as our people would say, the head of a goat cannot be missing in a pot of soup) and somebody must chop!

Just then, I read that  three of our  presidential planes, including the new one that was bought without budgetary approval, were seized in France by one unknown Chinese Company. to which Ogun State was indebted to 73m  Euros through judgement debts. This is first-class  international embarrassment.  How can our presidential jets be seized by idle civilians because of Ogun State carelessness and debts ? So a court has ruled!  How did they get close to the jets with all associated security and diplomatic immunity? The French ruling was supported by a US  court, which authorised the company to seize any Nigerian asset ANYWHERE over the same debt!  Then it was reported that the creditor company had compassionately released the youngest plane, which  arrived on 18/8/24 and with which BAT travelled to the same France  almost immediately, for a brief work-stay( wetin this one mean?). A columnist wondered the kind of strange courage that  led BAT to France because he could also be seized as well!  Abimbola Adelakun  was so nauseated by this development that  she felt  strongly that  the Chinese can  have Amosun too. It happened that Amosun, when he was the Governor, cancelled a contract duly signed by Gbenga Daniel, his predecessor.  The man with the long cap allegedly said he signed mistakenly while Utomi reported that his own contract was also cancelled by the same Amosun, in similar circumstances. And there is the story flying around about somebody who committed suicide over a similar matter… and we are seeking for foreign investors. Sowore  then joined the fray,  positing that the FGN stage-managed  the whole thing so as to tactically launch the 15 year old ‘fresh’ presidential jet. Some busybodies are asking two questions: why we should  discard a 19year old jet   when the  Airforce1 is still powering at 34? And why  should we replace a 19 year old jet with a 15 year old? I did not ask those questions but our people say that a bird that left the ground and perched on an anthill is still on the ground!

The story got more curiouser  when it was reported that the same  Chinese ‘investors’ have seized Nigeria’s guest houses in  Liverpool London ( 15 Aigburth Road & 49 Calderstones Rad)and offered them for sale at $2.2m!  And then, the same company, identified as Zhongshang Fucheng Industrial Investment Ltd, subsequently seized a relatively new jet  worth $57m ( Bombardier 6000 type, BD-700-1A10)in Canada, initially seized from Etete. So what has the plane beenl doing in Canada abi we no get space for  ‘garage’ to park it?  The  most interesting part of this juicy story is that Nigeria could not defend the case  in court for 9 months,  because  we were conducting general elections; an argument  the judge termed ridiculous! How does an election prevent  defence of a court case, and why  should an election last for 9 months?   I believe that we will hear more from this  Zhongshang Fucheng people, especially when my Chinese friend  informed me that the name means: by the time I finish dealing with you… I had thought that diplomatic immunity covers such properties but it appears that we ain’t seen nothing yet!!!

And these are just micro enforcers! The day of  macro enforcers will come, when China will come for Nigeria over our $5bn+ debts. That will be the day!!! Creditors are generally Shylockical but I am particularly averse to Chinese loans and I have  shouted myself hoarse in the market square over those loans. When somebody lends you any amount you request  just like that, then… My treatises on Chinese Loans include Nigeria and China: Till debts do us part( November, 2019); Our addiction for  Chinese Loans: Only the TRUTH will set us free! (January 2020);  $5.5bn loan? Count me OUT! ( March, 2020) and  Nigeria and love for Chinese debts: Love is blind. I have done my bit!  A slave who sees another slave being buried alive knows what his fate will be. However, Nigeria is an exception. We are inside a hole and we keep on digging furiously!

 And then there was  the information by the Minister of Information, Mohammed Idris,  that  the generous Federal Government  had given ALL the state  governments N570bn, EACH in the last 8 months  as hardship grant, and this was in addition to the huge  FAAC allocations! I was warming up for an ‘one-oldman-march’  to Agu-Awka to ask Soludo why he hid this gift from us and what he did with it since Igbo-Ukwu’s shopping list of just three roads was still pending. However the bombshell by Governor Makinde of Oyo State stopped me on my tracks.  Makinde who  has never been known for shaking tables thundered: ‘Thou Liest’, boldly declaring that the Federal Government did not give any state any money and concluding that ‘It is ANOTHER misrepresentation of facts’. He explained that it was a loan under the  Covid loan ( World-Bank NG- CARES ( COVID19 Action Recovery Economic Stimulus) project, ; reimbursement for money already spent by the states that was in the pipeline before BAT came on board!!!  There has been no  rejoinder as at now. There is nothing wrong  with the Minister of Information informing us. That is his duty but  not when he   audaciously  dishes out some untruths( my mouth is holy; I cannot say that he lied). Was it deliberate or accidental? If it were deliberate,  to what effect? To turn the End-HuBaGo people  or busybodies like me against the governors? If it is accidental then, it shows how seriously we take official businesses.

 I know that you must have heard that the fearless Ndume, who prides himself  with saying it as it is (some people will DISAGREE with me), has apologised to APC for criticising BAT of APC  in the market square. He had averred that BAT had been caged  by some unknown people and prevented from knowing the hardship ‘we,  the people’ are going through. He also averred that the government is populated by kleptocrats. ‘They’  removed him as the Chief Whip( which was why he had the capacity  and audacity to whip BAT), he narrowly escaped suspension, was demoted to a less juicy position, which he rejected.; was advised  to resign from the party and then  they extracted this apology from him. He however quipped that even  though he  rendered an  unreserved apology, he stood by what he said. I don’t know if he was standing with both legs or with some supporting infrastructure as he said this. So, what do we make of this? That he lied before? That he was misquoted? That he was quoted out of context? That it was a family affair?  Probably he is  trying to reopen the pipeline!!!

There are also some other HOT ‘newses’ in the front pages. One of them was the  presidential authorisation to NNPC to  divert the 2023 dividends due to the Federation to pay for the ‘non-existent’ subsidy. This came after NNPC had tried everything under the books to stabilise petrol supply. NNPC was also authorised to use the 2024 interim dividends to stabilise its cashflows. Only God knows the state of NNPC accounts but that is by the way. So, we still pay for subsidies?  Some even allege that we are paying the highest subsidies in the past 25 years, in addition to the numerous criminalities in the oily ecosystem! NNPC has however declared that it did not pay subsidies; that it was cost-recovery or under-supply something. Well, Subsidy is GONE; long live subsidy!

However other matters have arisen along this line. The most important matter that arose, is the skyrocketing price of fuel, which now stands at N950 in my community.  On this, there are two things to note. When  the price was N 750( just the other day), BAT assured NLC that once it agreed to N70k minimum wage, there would be no price increase. To this,  they foolishly agreed with a thunderous glee. I say foolishly because  that promise would not hold as long as  our fuel supply remains  tied to an unstable foreign exchange rates.  Now that Ajaero is an endangered specie  as a terrorist or terrorist financier(after he was beaten like a common criminal at Owerri), lets see how the story ends. Then, there is fuel scarcity across the land. We are used to it because one  unknown fellow has just flashed the images of fuel scarcity in 1974( 50 years ago), just to assure us that it not start with APC or BAT. The key  issue however is  that the NNPC has announced that the scarcity is caused by heavy rains and accompanying thunderstorm et al. I have invited the Guinness Book of Records to document this. Meanwhile, one unknown Nigerian is perplexed that  the FG is destroying illegal refineries  that are working while maintaining  legal refineries that are  comatose! Even  the about-to-commence  and  game-changing legal refinery is facing obvious roadblocks from unknown quarters!

Another issue is the resurrection of the longstanding debate about what Senators earn and what they ought to earn. Senator Shehu Sani once said that he received N13.5m as running costs, in addition to his basic salaries. His colleagues shouted him down and nearly placed a fatwa on him.  Recently, Senator Kawu of Kano  South announced that he received N21m monthly. This excluded the amorphous constituency funds. Senator Elisha Abor, who is better known for his exploits in an ‘adult shop’ said that it was even N29m but that it is not a lot of money since he made much more than that from his businesses. This was as the Revenue Mobilisation and Fiscal Allocation Commission insisted that a senator’s salary was a mere N1m. Somebody comes out, without coercion, to say what he earns and somebody stays from the comfort of his office to say that he does not earn such an amount. Should I believe the person who earns the amount in question or the person putting mouth into somebody’s affair?


Finally, BAT has taking delivery of two ‘machines’. Some local  MCs have this habit of asking those who came with motors ( like the son of man) to park outside( at the mercy of area-boys) while those chauffeured  with  machines should  park within the  secured compound. BAT has just taken delivery of two machines: an armoured black Cadillac Escalade, N995015000; ( as against Mercedes Maybach  used by his predecessors)and a presidential jet worth about N150bn, and of which nothing is known( this is not the first time; we are used to OPACITY). Of this Ugo Egbujo said ‘Tinubu preaches austerity( and asks us to be patient and give him more time) but he makes no efforts to curtail his lavish public expenditure. More patriotic people may argue that a man who leads 200m people and who has just secured a vote of confidence from people that matter  is at liberty to thump his nose at disgruntled elements. Other patriots may argue that the leader of the giant of Africa cannot move about like a lizard just because there is hunger in the land( Ugo Egbujo, BAT and his black beast). Lasisi Olagunju asked members of the other NBA(Nigerian Busybodies  Association) If the president of Nigeria does not spend Nigeria’s money, who else will? But one fact has just come up, also in the market square: the new jet is Tokunbo and has been on the ‘road’ for 15 years. Some busybodies are asking two questions: why we should  discard a 19year old jet   when the  Airforce1 is 34 and is still powering? And why  should replace a 19 year old jet with a 15 year old? I did not ask those questions but our people say that a bird that left the ground and perched on an anthill is still on the ground! Anyway, BATs body-language reactions to the End-HuBaGo are: show of opulence (flaunt the Cadillac, acquire the tokumbo jet), and admit that petrol  subsidy is still alive. In effect, he is saying: life goes on!!!

 However, we need not worry about the costs of these machines because somebody who is at the centre of the kitchen has allegedly said that the great BAT  funded these machines from his pockets. This is good  but  if it is true, it will resurrect  the questions that have been afloat in recent times. How did he make his money? What businesses has he been doing since he returned from exile  empty-handed and since 1999 when he became the governor of Lagos State. In effect, what are the sources of his infinite wealth?

Conclusion is what the writer does when he is tired. This treatise would have ended long before now but as the minutes  went bye, more interesting newses emerged. What of the unfortunate death of Emir of Goboir whom a ransom was placed on his corpse? What of the 20 medical students kidnapped and rescued(??) the other day? What of the legal relationship between NNPC, it’s retail arm and Oando?  What of the news from Malta?  What of the numerous End-HuBaGo  detainees, who  were sent back to detention because they had no lawyers? What of the increased tuition fees for Federal Government Colleges, which are deceptively called  Unity Colleges? What of the  absence of the DOT-people from the students loan fund chart?  What of the invalidation of ALL certificates from University of Cotonou since 2017? Some of these stories have been clarified, denied and  augmented! So, I am concluding, not because it is concluded but because  it has to be concluded!


                                 Unpleasant Truths & Comforting lies….servants living above the masters

The state of the country is obvious from these front-page ‘newses’ but  for those who want to be spoon-fed, here it is. The country is characterised by  shoddy preparation for events, misplaced priorities, searching for IGR by all means, wastefulness, lackadaisical attention to contracts, winner takes all tendencies by politicians, village headmaster tendencies of governors, poor attention to legal obligations, weak legal oversight, failure to learn  from experiences like the P&ID and other Nigerian factors,:  propaganda, godISM: ( god: government of deceits),  deliberate misinformation,  subterfuge   DBT or TAD( Doing before thinking or Thinking after doing) as instruments of governance, toying with official  responsibilities,  governance as one HUGE  Joke,   denying the obvious truth, preferring the comforting lies to the unpleasant truths,  disregard for public financial management principles and processes, unapparelled impunity, condescending or do your worst attitude to the people,  the practice of ‘ostrichesm’, hypocrisy, sinful profligacy in a nation in distress,  lackadaisical attitude to state matters and the servant living above his masters. The main problem is that the country characterised by these awful features, that country which practices anomalies as the most normal of things, wants to be taken seriously by others; they want to develop like others and they claim to be the giant of Africa or as Lumumba would say,  the biggest dwarf in a dwarfdom!


A friend of mine the other day accused me of ALWAYS being negative with regard to Nigerian affairs. I hereby decree and declare that  I did not invent any of these stories;  they are in the market square. However, this ‘construction’ of the present state of the country  as deduced from these stories are personal. Those with alternative perspectives should please share with the public as I have done

 Enjoy the second edition of the spicey Ihuowelle Quarterly( IQ,1.2)




Ik Muo, PhD. FCIB. Department of Business Administration, OOU, Ago-Iwoye. 08033026624

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