Kenya & UK: One day, Monkey go go market, e no go return! -Ik Muo, PhD.

 

It started like-play, like-play. Ruto was the peoples’ choice, pulling unimaginable crowds during campaigns and promising to  uplift the hustlers. His victory was an evidence that democracy has matured in Kenya because with voters’ support, he defeated the principalities and powers ( Ephessians,6:12)of Kenyan politics, those who have been passing Kenya like a football amongst themselves over the generations. The voters were happy and they looked forward to a new Kenya. However, before long, they agreed with Jean-Baptiste A Karr (1849)that plus ca change, plus c’est la meme chose (the more things changed, the more they remain the same). It appeared that they had perceived him as a saint because he never had the opportunity to steal previously! Like other African politicians, he ignored  the people, took them for granted, prioritised his  personal comfort and sold Kenya to foreign interests. These are modern day Shylocks who would loan you money without asking how you spent it and encourage you to squeeze the life out of your people to payback the loans and while the repayment capability gets bleaker and bleaker,  they loan you more and more and start puppeteering the  government. You cannot think straight in front of your creditor when your debt is bad to the power of 1001!

Ruto introduced new taxes and raised old ones. Tax on salaries was raised from 30% to 35%( the highest  ever) while introducing a new 1.5% housing tax, a 2.75% hospital insurance fund levy, a 3% turnover (gross sales) tax on small businesses and a doubling of taxes on fuel to 16%, among others.  Consequently, Kenyans   changed his name to Zakayo – Swahili for Zacchaeus, the greedy tax collector( Luke,19:1-10). Somebody should please remind me of the name of the Chairman  of our FIRS!. While taxing the people to death, he raised presidential ostentatiousness notches higher to the extent that Kenya's Controller of Budget  publicly complained over wasteful spendings. Foreign trips became the cornerstone of state policy (more than 50 of since trips since 2022). The last  trip to US became a sore point both for its cost ($1.5m just to charter  a private jet) and the agreements. Ngugu wa Thiongo   was so embittered that he accused him of selling Kenya cheap by agreeing to become a non-member ally  of NATO and in the process becoming  an ‘errand boy in Americas struggle with Rushia and China for access to resources in the Continent’ Despite the wrenching economic situation for Kenya and Kenyans, his spending for both domestic and foreign travels for 2023 was over 1.3bn Kenyan shillings ($9.2m; £7.3m), exceeding the travel budget for the previous year by more than 30%.He spent much money and days on foreign travels  that BBC crowned him as Africa’s Flying President, denying BAT who came second that bragging right.

 Flying President………………………………………Ngugi wa Thiongo

The 2024 Finance Bill, which taxed all taxables, including bread, data and money-transfer was the last straw that  drew the ire of the people, who  were convinced that he had betrayed his key campaign pledge to champion the interests of "hustlers", the masses, whom have been thrown under the bus by the deteriorating macroeconomic realities. It is the usual practice in Africa: government squandermania has to be covered with foreign and in this instance,  people have to be taxed to raise $2.4bn  now-now’ for debt servicing and repayment. And part of the debts is to service the offices of the First and Second ladies. At least, Nigeria is better in this regard; we only have  one official First Lady

       Populist Ruto & hustlers,     a  slay-protester, and….                 police highhandedness

 The people cried,  begged, threatened but the President ignored them, insisting that the US visit and the finance bill were inevitable for Kenya of his dream. The people saw that the handshake had gone beyond the elbow and in unison they  screamed   E!I!!E!!!( Enough is Enough) .  He thought that it was the usual street-noise but they meant it and then they struck. Police brutality including murders and kidnappings (remember how Nnamdi Kanu was kidnapped%) did not deter them because life was no longer worth living.  It reminds me of the name: ‘e ji ndu eme gini’( what is the use of living when life has lost its meaning; under a subhuman existence?). They  became violent, stormed the  parliament, enjoyed parliamentary lunch, and promised to   storm the Bastille and  have lunch with Ruto the following day. Ruto talked tough, scoffed at the people and threatened to deal with the troublers of Kenya.(1Kings,18:17). However he read the handwriting on the wall; he knew that they held him by the ‘blokos’  and were squeezing  mercilessly. He repented, surrendered and with his tails between his legs, he did the best thing under the situation: he reenacted the prodigal son scenario( Luke,15). Why should he have forgotten the advice of Adam Smith (Wealth of Nations) that ‘to charge more to someone in dire need is a sin of avarice or the Churchillian advice hat ‘ for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.    

 He started making hitherto unimaginable concessions.  He cancelled the  budget for offices of first and second ladies, withdrew the contentious  and hitherto uninfringeable ,inviolable Finance  Bill, ordered massive  expenditure cuts , dissolved 47  parasitic parastatals( without any Oronsaye report or the multiple white papers), reduced the number of  Government advisers by  50%  and suspended non- essential travels. The youths summoned him to the X-Space and he appeared like a drenched bee, a scrotum in the cold weather, or like one of our ‘jokists’ said,, like a student coming to defend his project. They told him to his face what they felt, including incompetence in government and hobnobbing with thieves. He made promises, including  3600 engineering jobs within a week.  He subsequently   dismissed ALL his cabinators, WIE( with Immediate Effect) ,except the vice and two others, and promised wide consultations  on their replacement. The highhanded IGP, Japhet Koome  resigned and went underground. This has proved one of the  ALUTA cries of  ASUU: A people united can never be defeated. The Kenyans are even broadening the scope of their protests.  They are planning to protest police brutality against Nigerian men, their husbands and baby-daddies. They are also planning to protest against the Churches for hobnobbing with, or being soft on, the ‘criminals’. Furthermore, as corpses of people who disappeared are being discovered, public angst is rising to a new crescendo


Our people say that when a deity  becomes intransigent, they will show him the tree from which it was carved. People say that Kenya is NOT Nigeria but  there is a WIDE gulf between Kenya of  last month and Kenya of today. It took just  a few hours for a new Kenya to emerge  because Kenya  has undergone an irreversible CHANGE. We are far from Kenya but not too far!!!.

And then, it happened in UK. An election was held,( no agberos, no militarisation, no intimidation, no public holidays and no restriction of movements) and Labour Party won landslide (Labour Party again? some people said it was  PO effect).Within 24 hours,  the loser conceded and  left  NO 10( PMs residence since 1735) and the winner moved in( same bed, same chairs, same cutleries), appointed his ministers( there was no screening and test of ability to recite the old-new anthem), promised the people a government of service- by action- and respect  for all irrespective of parties. There was no mention of a DOT area, those who gave only 5% of the votes . He promised  to prioritise the country, rather than the party( no kinship corporation) and started the serious business of governance.

There were no transition committees, no gala night, no Trafalgar square assembly, no budget for the handover ceremonies, no foreign dignitaries, no repainting and refurnishing of their Aso Rock, no religious services, no sanctification of No10 against witches( as Reuben Abati),  no congratulatory messages from  some  rent-seeking emergency groups,  no aso-ebi dance troupes, no snatch-and-run, no COURTocracy, no glitches,  no mistaken transmission of a book-cover instead of results,  no opposition party members were flogged by thugs, no mutilated result sheets( were they even result-sheets?) , no late arrival of electoral materials, no election tribunals and no boon for lawyers, judges and legal middlemen (there was NOTHING to sue for).  There was no new fleet of cars for the First Lady, no new tyres for N250m and no contract for the renovation of the VPs residence. It was a simple, solemn event, with the new PM conscious of the challenges he faces and working on his promises already, like cancelling the Rwanda  deportation programme and getting closer to EU.

Whereas a full-blown Yoruba man was Igbonised in Lagos and asked to try his luck in ana-Igbo, there was a pure Yoruba Party in UK, which of course fielded a pure Yoruba man ( and he was  shown how not to be  narrow minded!); and  6 Nigerians were elected as parliamentarians. Nobody was asked to go home and vote and none was accused of trying to take-over UK!  People will also argue that Nigeria is not UK. But as someone  had argued, they were the ones who taught us. Was it that they were bad teachers or that we were and still remain, bad students? The other day, Dutch PM, Mark Rutt left office after 14 years in office. He left on a cycle and alone: no guards, fleet of one-in town cars, sinful and self-serving pension scheme. We do not see, and cannot, imitate this!

Starmer at No 10  and the Chancellor, Hunt  departing No 11, WIE

How long will Nigerians tolerate the daylight robbery of our commonwealth by our servants who lord it over us with  in your face impunity? How long will we tolerate this personilisation of power  with crude kabyesi  tendencies at all levels?  When shall we stop tolerating this recycling of certified thieves and employing  law-breakers as our lawmakers? When I was younger, I participated FULLY in several ‘I-no-go-gree’ activities. However, some of those in government now were part of those resistant movements. Why have they forgotten what they said and did before? Should we continue like this? Will Kenya and Uk happen to us? Some people say Nigeria is neither Kenya nor UK. But one day, monkey go go market, e no go return. It may  not be today; it may not be tomorrow but certainly… one day!

Nigeria will consciously always walk itself to the brink and then, as we are about to plunge, some invisible hands will pull us back. Look at our debts with nothing to show for it except government profligacy while we are given sorrow to eat and a large cup of tears to drink( Psalm 80:5). Things are so bad that a man prioritises his motorcycle over the wife. I don’t think that we can continue to be this lucky!

We escaped the  Arab spiring,  we escaped  EndSARS by putting out youths to the sword ;   we escaped the earlier protest against hunger, we escaped the recent NLC shutdown (first in history) while  the protest against misgovernance  is loading ( dis one wey demgive with notice.?) We may also escape that.  But one-day; just one day!!!


I repeat, we cannot be permanently lucky. I advise that we flee from the wrath to come ( Matthew, 3:7)when we still have the opportunity because this is still the day of favour, the appointed time( Psalm 102:13) I know that it is very difficult for ‘them’ to heed PO’s strident request to dismantle this criminality but one day…

Somebody just committed suicide  around LATSMA office  in Ikorodu Sagamu Road, Lagos because his  three-legged car was seized and his efforts to retrieve it failed. Maybe it was on hire-purchase. Maybe he  was just resuming work after 1 week at the mechanic; maybe he was riding the keke of a friend who travelled. Maybe… This is VERY sad indeed.  When young people in other countries feel oppressed, they revolt ( not pray)until  the situation changes.  Unfortunately in Nigeria, as somebody had lamented, they either japa or they  commit seppuku. This paradigm is not sustainable and it will not continue. Our young ones cannot continue to run away, to eternity or to other climes. It has to stop one day

Will Kenya and Uk happen to  Nigeria? Some people say Nigeria is neither Kenya nor UK.  True but one day, monkey go go market, e no go return. It may  not be today; it may not be tomorrow but certainly… one day!

 

Other ‘Mattersis’

·        Tearful moments in Jos

It was an ocean of  blood and tears  in Jos  as the school building of Saints Academy, Busa-Buji,  collapsed as  students were writing exams  with  22 dead and 132 hospitalised as I write! A parent  who lost 4 children in the incident has reportedly passed on! Why did the building not collapse during the weekend? Why not during public holidays? The other day, it was the centenary building @ CKC and now this. I pray for the good lord to grant peaceful repose to the dead and console the mourners. But we must go beyond our tendency make all the right  noises and nothing more. Were there signs that were ignored? Could this have been avoided? Tough questions should be asked, and tough decisions taken to ensure that this does not recur

·       Lagos in trouble

I am a Lagosian, having been in that water-logged world  since 1994. My house at Okota has been overrun by water  for  more than  6 times in the past 6 years. My major offence was that I was the first to build in thatpart of Okota and the later builders raised their houses 50 meters above my own level. In fact, some of them use stair-case get to the ground floors. So, I understand what many Lagosians are going through at this season. Even the rich( Lekki) also cried. Unlike the governor who was giving assurances from atop  the tallest building in Lagos, I took a more practical step. I sought out the Tinubu-APC bishops and procured them to intercede for Lagosians. Unfortunately, their intercession, like that of the Baalists  yielded no fruits(1kings, 18, 20-40). It rather angered both God and the gods and that is why we are here!

·       A fervent appeal

I am aware, as a SPIRIT, that one of my readers is planning to buy three colours of this sandals for me( black, brown and grey). He knows himself and I am thanking him in advance. However, I have an appeal to make. I  want him to monetise this gift which can fuel my car to work for at least 6 months( 100k/monthly).

Please you all should join me in thanking him and then appealing to him to monetise the gesture. Just say it in the spirit and he will also receive it in the spirit. Thanks


The Eagle has Landed.

Ihuowelle Qaurterly, an ALL-COLOUR community magazine based in Ihuowelle Village IgboUkwu has joined the physical media world. With incise reports in local, national and global.

Events and columns on Health and diet, sports, philosophy, real estates, government and governance, politics, travelog and Diasporan voices, you are ensured of quality contents and pleasurable read. It is published thrice yearly: April, August and December.

It goes for N5000 for delivery within Nigeria.  For delivery, subscription or advertisements, contact 08033026625 or 08037116817

Ik Muo, PhD. FCIB. Department of Business Administration, OOU, Ago-Iwoye. 08033026624

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