As I write this on 22/1/24, I still wonder how to evaluate the last Christmas Season (2023 Christmas and 2024 New Year). Sure, December 25, 2023, and January 1, 2024, had come and gone. People, especially nd’Igbo engaged in their usual reverse-migration, importing acute holdup and mad driving into the land of the rising sun; prices of everything hit the roofs, especially given this era of TINUBUlation, with transportation winning the gold medal. Indeed, the cost of domestic flights compared favourably with some foreign routes and while the consumers were bleeding financially, the operators provided economic, demand& supply justifications. My birthday was also celebrated as usual on 1/1/24 but with minimal fanfare. The social-media was awash with Christmas and Newyear messages (as the good old greeting-cards had disappeared totally); many kids were decked in the new seasonal attires while many Churches down East had successful harvest-thanksgiving programmes. The cross-over night celebrations were held with deafening noise from imported and hand-made ‘knockouts’(banga) and the youths started the year with no-gree for anybody, which the police authoritatively declared as the greatest security threat to this country; more threatening than the deadly BBUK (Boko-Haram, (Known) Bandits, Un-known GunMen and Kidnapers) consortium. People have already returned to their hussling mode, with my brothers who almost emptied their bank accounts for Christmas at the forefront. The Abuja crowd is also ‘killing dead-body’( igbu-ozu, hammering) in the high-seas as mysterious millions and billions are afloat everywhere, with our womenfolk not doing badly at all. However, despite all these, I have to ask myself if it was actually a Christmas season for some of us or for ALL of us.
Giving this era of tribulation, which has been domesticated as TINUBUlation, some people sponsored a motion of urgent national importance in the Nigerian Peoples Assembly that the Christmas be cancelled outrightly or rescheduled. That was because of the unbelievable cost of everything caused by the quantum leaps in fuel prices and massive official bloodletting against the naira. All this saw inflation at almost 29% and food-inflation at 35% with the price of rice, the seasonal staple rising by x3, year on year. Their motion received a boost when Bethlehem, the, host of the first Christmas cancelled the 2023 Christmas celebrations due to the ugly experience during their earlier religious festival and the ongoing police-action in the Gaza.
It is right and proper to ask if it was Christmas for people of Plateau communities where savage bandits slaughtered 200 of our compatriots and applied a scorched earth model of warfare on 27th December and even audaciously notified them of another attack on 29th December. And the soldiers sent to restore order were arresting the victims instead of the terrorists, which led to a Plateau version of Aba-womens’ riot (1929) and the scorching of the palace of the Traditional Ruler of Bokkos. Is it Christmas for Niger State communities where known bandits have carved out territories for themselves, imposing taxes on residents and IDPs, restricting movement of people and goods or Zamfara where the terrorists murdered 10 for failing to pay N20m levy or the families of four who died and the 39 kidnapped as bandits invaded FCT communities? What of the bride and family of the groom kidnapped on his wedding day with a ransom demand of N250m or the families of the 30 compatriots kidnapped on the Kaduna-Abuja route? (This route again?) or those affected by the murderous rage at Uga Roundabout on 28/12/23? Meanwhile, the National Broadcasting Commission has just ordered media houses to stop broadcasting details of terrorist attacks and we have just been told that in the organised crimes index, Nigeria ranks first in West Africa, Second in Africa and 5th in the world! How is this relevant? The ‘judi-sharing’ has gone to bed with certified criminals! I wonder the type of Christmas it was for my cousin, Onyinye Umeojiaku who buried her 18-year-old son, Ifechukwu, who died at the height of the season!
Ifechukwu, A Platoon for personal security Abuja Kaduna siege & Al-Kadriyah family
What kind of Christmas was it for my compatriot who
‘ordered’ a platoon of 44 combined
forces for his personal security? Was he
not celebrating the season prison? And how can an individual have the temerity
to make such a request (and he might have been obliged) in one of the least policed countries in the globe? How about the Al-Kadriyah family whose mother and 5 daughters were kidnapped, Nabeene murdered for late payment of ransom, which
was being hiked in an amoebic fashion? This witnessed the first crowdfunding for criminal entrepreneurs
in Nigeria, with Isa Pantami as the ‘Chief Launcher’? Luckly, they have paid their way out, but the
FGN declared that they were rescued by our valiant troops! And these are
happening when the president had assured us that security had improved under
his watch and when the social media was (and
is awash) with his 2024 statement on the
responsibility of the president for security. However, the internet never forgets, and talk is cheap!It was also when Sheik Gumi advised us to prepare for more mass-burials of Christians unless we provided schools and
hospitals for bandits!
The internet does NOT forget … BATified Convoy Eze nd’Igbo Nwajagu
How about the probably self-anointed Eze-Igbo of
Ajao Estate, Chief F Nwajagu who has
been in detention for 9 months for
MERELY threatening to invite IPOBians to protect him and his subjects during the
electoral mayhem of last year? That is
as the Baales who threatened and
actually facilitated the breaking of
heads and limbs during that period are moving about freely while Oluomo’s
threat, which was actuallised has been forgotten. It is also as more certified
terrorists are repenting and are being absorbed as police
constabularies and probably as soldiers. How about our students
who read about the $15000+ fees in
Wigwe’s university but were advised to calm down because the students loan was
in the pipeline and now, almost the end of January( initially scheduled for September),
no-nothing has been heard about the loan?
The UNLUCKY Spirit!!!
How about this unlucky spirit which had an accident (an accidented
spirit???), became bedridden but could not access medicare because the caregivers could not speak its esoteric language. And how about those who
bought fuel at 1200/ltr during the season, especially as terrorists blew up the
transmission lines in some places at that same period?
However, it was not all gruesome news. The
magnanimous president offered 50% discount on rail transportation (without a
national spread) and road transportation, over which he has no control, between
December 21 and January 4. I tried to identify those who benefitted from the ‘palliathief’
but I did not see any. The president also showered the people of Lagos with some executive Christmas air while meandering
within the densely populated suburbs with his
intimidating convoy of 4 coaster
buses, 16 military jeeps, 6 outriders and so on. Luckily, we will not experience this again as convoy has been mercifully reduced by 60%. I don’t
know whether this policy affects drivers, security details and other hangers on
because they have to be provided for! If a presidential team of 15 is followed by
a 100 troupe of akpu-obi
people, then…Wike and Fubara kept on entertaining us with their own version of
battle in the creeks while our beautiful ladies in Abuja showed us through body
language that what a man can do, women can do even better. Things are also looking up as we received a presidential
assurance in Owerri (15/1/24) that more Nigerians were being trained to take-over from the
japa-ed emigrants though those trainees
include people with cash and carry degrees from LASU and 1-month degree programmes from our neighbouring countries.
At home, where I am now an acting villageman, it was as busy and groovy as ever. The Igbo-Ukwu community had its Cultural Day on 29/12/23, Walk-for-Unity with emphasis on environmental sustainability on 30/12/23, and AGM and election on 30/12/23, which saw the emergence of Sir MCK Ubah as the new PG. The Ihuowelle Village had its 2023/24 Mass return which culminated in the Ihuowelle Day on 4/1/24. It involved football competition, egwu-onwa cultural extravaganza, public lecture and fundraising. Even though things were tough, the 2023 harvest of St Michaels catholic Church, Igbo-Ukwu was amongst the most successful in recent times and while the bogey of insecurity was marketed before the season, there was a massive turnout of ‘nataad’ people(returnees), showing off the latest clothes, cars and houses all over the place. The light situation was also near excellent even though the network was horrible, and we were luckier than those who bought fuel at N1200 during the season. A new Christmas song titled ‘on your mandate we stand’, was introduced by the National Assembly while some people obtained the Christmas chicken through the ‘snatch and run’ tactics just as the chickens strategised on how to save their necks during the season.
2023 Christmas Song Snatch and run tactics.
I also wish to announce that I received ‘balablu’ Xmas gift from the Lagos State Government on 26/12/23. It was
delivered through HPESEinfo, http://payvis.ng directing us to pay for traffic violation by
car number xxx. They sent a reminder on 28/12/23 advising that the payment
should be made ASAP to avoid impoundment. The most interesting aspect of the
story was that the car had not been in Lagos for the past 2 years, that it was
then and as today parked somewhere in
Abia State and the owner was and is still in Anambra State. How can a car that has not been
in Lagos for the past two years and parked in Aba as at then and as at today,
commit traffic offence in Lagos? That is why I believe that it is pure BALABLU.
As the
Chrismas pocketities bit harder, an unknown Nigerian asked this
question: Urgent… Please who knows where they sell account balance enlargement cream? I need to rub it
on my account balance ASAP account. To this, I add my own two
questions to which I require informed responses: where is Oluomo, the
agbero in chief of Lagos and what is the score in the battle of the creeks in
PH?
Anyway, with this local content hamper I sincerely extend complements of the season to all men of goodwill and joy to the world to those whose circumstances permit them to be joyful.
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“Find a great mentor, someone who has already been through the many challenges of being an entrepreneur..” -Jodi Levine
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