Four months ago, I complained about the ease with which youths
of this generation readily and without much ado, took their lives or the lives
of others (Other matters: A death-friendly generation, BusinessDay.
23/5/19). My concern was that it
appeared that our general desire to stay longer on this side of the divide, our
value for human life and the awe with which we held death, were all becoming
things of the past. I illustrated my concerns with five incidents that were
‘fresh’ as at then and asked nobody in particular, ‘what is happening?’
But as things turned
out, I had complained too soon! A spate of juvenile suicides, which started in
the ‘white-man’s land’ soon became commonplace in our campuses and other parts
of the society. From other parts of the world, a 10-year old boy from Namibia
committed suicide while being urged on by a computer game; a 9 year old girl
committed suicide in Canada because she was bullied by her friends and another
16 year old Malaysian girl killed herself when she did an online poll and 64%
of her friends voted for death. Those her friends who voted for death are
probably still alive! A 19-year-old Cambridge student killed herself by jumping
off a plane because of project-related academic challenges and then, a 13-year-old
Briton committed suicide because the girl he had a crush on, already had a
boyfriend (a 13-year-old boy killing himself over a potential
girl-friend!)
When the suicide wild-fire(which
is still razing) came calling on our shores, it was like everything we do… in
excess. Our undergraduates and youths started killing themselves, because of
what those of us who are nearer to where we are going than where we are coming
from, see as non-issues. Our youths committed suicide because they had
disagreements with their bedmates, because the girls ‘ported’ to other boys or
vice versa and because they had academic challenges- projects, poor results and
carry-overs. The most recent in my
data-base killed himself because he had three ‘carry-overs’ while another
killed himself because the mother could not give him N700, now-now!
The mother had assured him of the money the following day! 80% of the recent undergraduate and youth
suicides were mostly due to failed romance, failed projects and failed academic
performance and almost all of them used sniper, a harmless looking pesticide as
an instrument of suicide. We now have a sniper-friendly generation!
Our youths now found
solace in sniper-induced suicide, forgetting that whatever can get worse can
also get better( Baldwin), that the main
problem is refusing to get up, not falling down; that the route to success is usually narrow, that
a road that had no bumps and obstacles invariably led nowhere doom and that the arrow is
usually pulled back before being shot forward. They forget that all the
big-names they dream to be like (Mandela, Lincoln, Woods) had passed through
the desert-experience, when they were down and nearly out. They want to learn
from their counterparts
overseas, forgetting that when the rat jumps into the waters
with the lizard, the later will come out dry while it will come out wet. After
all, while Senator Melaye has been in and out of court for ‘attempted suicide’,
the Red-Roof Inn in Columbus is unabashedly
advertising its ‘cheap’ suicidal suites( $60/day) for those who want
‘comfortable, quick and relatively painless death’
Suicide is not a youth-only affair and even those who are trained to dissuade people from
committing suicide are falling into the allure of suicide. As the world was celebrating the world
suicide prevention day( 10/9/19), Gregory Eells, the Executive Director of
Counseling and Psychological Services at the University of Pennsylvania,
committed suicide. 
And that same day, Jarrid Wilson, the Pastor of Harvest
Christian Fellowship Church, committed suicide, shortly after officiating at the funeral service of a woman
who died by suicide. Truly, as our people would ask the native doctor who cures
diarrhea, ‘how immune are you from the
scourge? It is also not an undergraduates-only affair as a 17 year old
bride somewhere up north set herself on
fire because the groom could not afford the N17000 dowry demanded by her parents. Now, how does
setting herself on fire solve the problem? The WHO, worried by the increasing
rate of suicide globally(40 suicides per second) has suggested the ban of
dangerous pesticides like sniper.
However long before the last suicide prevention day and
the activities that followed it, the OOU
Management took a proactive approach to the issue. It organized a five-day
programme in July for thousands of students in the four campuses of the
university. The programme tagged ‘Suicide is Not an Option’ had the University
Management, led by the VC, Prof G.O Olatunde in attendance and the
speakers addressed the issue of
depression and suicide from diverse perspectives: general, sociological,
guidance and counselling, medical and spiritual perspectives. The youths were
also involved because all the 5 sessions were addressed by Student Unions
executives. The students came out in large numbers, offered meaningful
feedbacks and gave the OOU management fresh insights to issues that might lead
to depression and suicide. And I am aware that they are building on that to
develop a sustainable suicide prevention template.
The scourge of juvenile suicide is here with us and may not
be in a hurry to abate. The ‘OOU-Model’ is a useful approach to this challenge
but more coordinated and sustainable nationwide efforts are needed by
governments, NGOs and religious organisations, which market faith and hope. And my advice to all
the youth is that suicide is NOT an option and to ‘dig in’ because whatever one is going through shall come to pass. Eschew comparison and seek for
satisfaction rather than success and remember that once there is life, there
hope. In any case, if one kills himself because of one girl, then he has lost
the opportunity of encountering 1001 other girls and very often, the night is
darkest just before the dawn. It is not
advisable to take a permanent solution
to a temporary problem and in any case, whatever is hot will ultimately get
gold; it is just a matter of time. 
Don’t give up because most often, success is
closer that you think. According to Paulo Coelho, ‘It is the possibility of
having a dream come true that makes life interesting’ however, when one commits
suicide, the dream dies irretrievably! Persevere, share your challenges with
the significant others and always remember; YOU ARE NOT ALONE and…IT SHALL COME
TO PASS!
Other matters: This odd world!
This is a very odd world indeed though what is odd depends on the reality of the
person interpreting the oddity. The
other day, a so-called pastor was doing
unholy things with another woman in a public swimming pool and his congregants were cheering them up,
taking pictures and mouthing religious
incantations. They said it was ‘holy
sex in a holy pool! And just the other
day a group of ‘waist-up’ naked South African damsels were dancing and dangling some unmentionable
things in public and they said it was an exhibition of Zulu culture. Earlier
this month, Lilian a mother of 3 and Millicent, a mother of two, exchanged their husbands ( marital trade by
batter) in a queer effort to find happiness! Lilian’s husband had married
Millicent,( another man’s wife! ) as his second wife. Lilian then decided to
get even by convincing Millicent’s husband to marry her. They eventually had a
reconciliatory meeting and agreed to take it as it is and now, they happily
(legally???) married! Millicent's new husband
enthused that the new ‘wife’ gave him peace of mind! In faraway
France, an Appeal Court has just ruled that a married man who died while
indulging in an ‘away match’ (adultery) during a business trip, actually died of
work-place accident! This strange ruling makes it possible for his family to
derive some benefits for the adultery-induced death! 
And back to Kenya, (Kenya
again!) four women, viciously fought , over the corpse of a boda-boda(okada)
rider, who died in an accident, claiming that he was their joint and
They all had sons for the man (a very active man indeed!) but
none of them lived with him. They had to jointly authorize the release and
burial of the corpse after being promised shares in his ‘wealth’. And I wonder the quantum of wealth
left by an okada driver! By the way,
does it mean that the day has come when seven women would seize one man
saying, we will wear our own cloths, eat our own bread; only let us be called
by your name (Isaiah,4:1)
But as we are wondering about the oddities from other parts
of the world, people from other parts of the world may also be laughing at our
own oddities; a nation where the life of a cattle is worth more than the lives
of multiples of citizens! Odd world, isn’t it?
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