PMB: Some Post-Mortem Comments - Ik Muo, PhD.

 

In the university environment, we have what is called ‘post-approval comment’.  Such  comments usually come after an issue has been concluded; it is not meant to change the ‘meat’ of the issue which has been done and dusted. Borrowing from that practice, I wish to present some post-mortem comments in connection with PMB. I had promised not to write anything about PMB since he was (and is) no longer in a position to defend himself. However, there are certain post-mortem   stories and developments that need to be documented  for the present and future generations and that is what I intend to briefly capture in this commentary

 We all recall that  BAT,our dear President,  had  audaciously promised to continue from where PMB stopped. You will agree with me that Tinubu has actually kept this promise in all its ramifications and has even  surpassed expectations. He has scientifically  and comprehensively continued with the mass-pauperisation of the people; he has catapulted cronyism and nepotism to the centerpiece of our governance( or misgovernance) framework to the extent that some foulmouthed folks  say that we are now in the Federal Republic of Lagos; he has deftly captured all the arms of government such that ours has become a one-armed government; the commanding heights of the economy  have been  COMPLETELY  cornered   by the favoured tribe and we are continuously fed with a tasteless diet of promises and more promises, from one mouth-marked  gigantic project to another; national unity is being mouthed while all actions and activities are to the contrary. The irrepressible OBJ has just thundered that BAT is competing with and probably besting PMB in terms of inefficiency. 


We now know that the government that nearly set up a Ministry of Fake News and Hate Speech, was the author and finisher of those concepts, which  were  deftly  weaponized. You will remember all the efforts by the great LAI to control the social media, including hitting  X  below the belt. Well, the wind has blown and we have seen the nyash of the fowl and affirmed that Reverend Fathers actually wore some trousers beneath their soutane. In an all-out effort to outshine themselves with breaking ‘newses’ and show who was closer to the taciturn despotic democrat, his people have started talking. Garba Shehu confirmed what every right-thinking fellow knew: that the story of PMB being chased away from his fortified and  rocky abode  by rats was planted; it was a First Class FAKE news. It was obvious because even a roadside alchemist could produce a guaranteed money-back concoction that  could defeat the meanest  and most dodgy of rats.

This government has  also continued from where PMB stopped in terms of government by propaganda, outright lies, abuse and misuse of statistics and subterfuge. Just the other day, we had an accidental discharge from the government as to what transpired between us and Japan with respect to special town and Visa arrangements for Nigeria.  In an effort to fill the goodies basket, we now, as one of my friends argued, present opinions as facts, proposals as accomplishments, and  glossy power-point presentations as project delivery. Narratives are being creatively restructured  with equanimity, including that BAT built Lagos while his Deputy in 1999 told us that it was actually Lagos that built the great BAT because he assumed office without a car and a house. The present government has also continued with the IMPUNITY of the immediate past. Just as PMB ordered military jets from US without anybody’s consent, the present government awarded the Multi-Trillion highway to nowhere, a road that was commissioned with fanfare when it was 3% completed; it has also  just approved the upgrading of airport to the tune of N712bn for a ministry, which annual budget was far less than N100bn. The issue of agreement or no agreement with ASUU is still fresh in our minds.


PMB also suffered from Acute Travelmania with over-bloated entourage. In effect, he was ruling Nigeria from the air and from other countries , especially UK,  occasionally  visiting  Nigeria. This is one of the areas where BAT has bettered PMBs record. He is either travelling  to one country, including those the size of Ajegunle, or settling down from a foreign trip or setting off  to another trip. The entourage is also  awesome to the extent that when he spoke to the Nigerian community in Japan, half of the audience were members of his entourage and the  captains or eve majors  in the capital market(NGX & SEC) had to visit their President in Brazil… at the expense of Nigerian taxpayers. Such trips are also used to make outlandish statements including the recent one that  the fantastically corrupt country is now  completely FREE of corruption.


It is no longer news that PMBs corpse was imported and checked in through customs, rather than immigrations. Like many of Nigerian and African elites, he died  abroad.  Femi Adesina, one of those who professed undying love for PMB, and surely made it BIG in the process, told a scandalized nation that if PMB had been treated in Nigeria, he would have died long time ago. Femi had written all he could to assure us of the integrity-ness of PMB but he did not feel that it was anti-climax  for a person who promised to end medical tourism(  he had asked why should I indulge on medical trips abroad if we cannot make our hospitals functional), who commissioned a N21bn VVIP wing of the presidential clinic, to be brought in as a cargo from a London clinic( not even a hospital), which boasts of 900 doctors, where  Nigerian tax-payers coughed out 4000 Pound Sterlin daily.. and where he shared space with another former Nigerian ruler! The irrepressible Chidi Odinkalu called on ALL the current leaders to build functional hospitals if they did not want to be ‘cagorised’ at death and The Nigerian Medical Association, which membership has suffered severe hemorrhage due to acute ‘japarisation’ also weighed in, condemning the worrisome trend of executive medical tourism in Nigeria; a trend that  tells the world about our decadent health system.


One issue that followed PMB and refused to die with him, was this  fulanisation agenda. Beyond paying more attention to Niger-Republic, where ‘his people’ were and still are, the way and manner he deoderised the treasonable activities of some murderous Fulanis and elevated their cows above humans in dignity and federal protection created that irresistible impression th at he had a Fulani agenda. Of course, one of his comrades had told us how they audaciously imported some Fulani militia to facilitate their victory in 2015. At his death, Alhaji Buba Galadima gave us another earth-shaking expose: that PMB was recruited into the presidential race (after he had wept on National TV and vowed never to do again) because they wanted to stop the OPC from dismantling the Fulani empire in Ilorin.


He listed the high-profile marketing team that convinced, converted recruited PMB as himself, Alhaji Wada Nas, Professor Yadudu (the same fellow who singlehandedly wrote the current ‘we the people’ constitution of Nigeria), Bashir Alhatu, AlhajiY.S Maman and 34 others

There were some other Post-Morten developments regarding PMB. The issue of how he died in 2017 resurfaced, with a copy of the alleged tribute by the queen pasted all over the place. The University of Maiduguri  was named after him, despite the fact that efforts to rename ALL universities in Nigeria had failed. However, the renaming of Ozuomba Mbadiwe Avenue by fellows who were probably in liquid form when that road was baptised, was automatic and unchallenged.  Other stories included the argument that what was buried was not PMB in Islam because green was not an acceptable Kaftan,  how  the cabal exploited PMBs weak moments to smuggle memos to him(  as reported by Gambari), the  issue of whether he  was still married to his former first lady or not( the promoter of this story later apologized) and a resurgence of the news about Lekki Massacre, reminding all of us that the evil that me do lives after them, There are also instances  of attempting to use  failed formulas  to achieve desired outcomes.


As you can see, I was not the one who said ALL these things and as such, I did not break my public vow not to say anything about PMB after his death

 Other Matters

 New Vocabulary: Walking -Talking


I went to one local shop to buy the regular black polythene bag to temporarily house some merchandise. The old woman asked me if wanted Walking-Talking (probably, walkie-talkie). I told her that I did not know a bag with that name, but I explained to her what I wanted. She brought it and sure it was it. I asked her why it was named walking-talking, and she explained said that as you are walking while having that bag with you, it would be ‘talking’. It usually made a ‘shuffling, ruffling and waffling’ noise like some dry leaves and hence, walking talking. I just decided to update my readers.

 Ember-Months Quiz

Who or what does this image remind you of? Winner receives a hand-made Christmas card on 25/12/25

 For the attention of Guinness Book of World Records!


Our elections are now devoid of thugs, cash and high-wire connections and that was why and how this little girl won an election in a place as volatile as Rivers!

Ik Muo, PhD. FCIB. Department of Business Administration, OOU, Ago-Iwoye. 08033026624

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