As at 22/12/22, not much had been heard about Christmas beyond some carols here and there and some companies wanting to cobrand with the Christmas season. The only thing I hear from ‘my main radio’ Nigerian Info 99.3 is how ‘APC is the party and BAT is the man’ thereby asking us to join the distressed broom or Jandor complaining that ‘we are tired of promise and fail’ and thus asking us to come under the tattered umbrella. Even road-side hawkers of sundry seasonal items who usually rang their bells and offered ‘buy-one-and-get-one-free’, are nowhere to be seen! In the good old days, ‘jingle-bell’ and ‘silent-night’ would have suffocated the airwaves since November. Those days, it was a season of bliss. I still recall how my father’s ogo-ngoko (co-inlaw; my aunts husband), would ferry us in his truck from Osumenyi to Igbo-Ukwu and we would be joyfully singing choruses all the way while the vehicle would be spraying dusts along the road. And when we got home, the village would know that Headmaster’s family was back. Just the other day, somebody joked that with a bag of rice going for N55000, we would all know the meaning of ‘silent-night Christmas’! I wanted to ask him why we should not use agbado and cassava for the season but I do not want a riot by the younger elements in my constituency, who must always feast on rice.
However,
beyond the non-trending of ‘silent night’ in the airwaves and the cost of rice,
an ‘unfavourable combination of circumstances’(a phrase used by
my history teacher in 1972 to discuss the causes of Austro- Hungarian war of
1477-1488; it has been etched in my ‘head’ since then) has made me wonder ‘which kain Christmas be dis’?.
The last time I was in a similar mood was in 2010 when I reviewed the Christmas reason in arrears and wondered whether we should actually, be wishing each other ‘happy
Christmas’ (Ik Muo: Happy Christmas?
Not Quite: BusinessDay, 4/1/11). It was at a time when power
generation plummeted to 800 gross and we were without light for 7 days at a
sitting; when Juhel Okoye was kidnapped, a month after his mother was kidnapped
and after he hosted the President in his Y2K compliant factory, man’s inhumanity
to man by transporters( as it is today), 100 police tollgates from Shagamu to
Onitsha,( worse today), insufferable gridlock
at bridgehead (hopefully resolved) and imported inflation and hold-up in the
land of the rising sun.
Last year (2021), I started an analysis of the
Christmas season by x-raying the afflictions of Fada Christmas. One tested
positive for omicron and was quarantined, another was arrested by the police for
not having the National Identity Number (with the Police and Immigration
fighting over the custody of the UFC- Unknown Fada Christmas),
another boarded Okada and was arrested by vigilant FRSC officials for not wearing a crash-helmet
while the other who wanted to evade the Police and FRSC, boarded a canoe(he could not afford a boat) and fell into the
dirty waters of Lagos. Another was so distressed that in an unfortunate
role-reversal, the people were contributing ‘agege-bread ati ewa’
for him while the other abandoned his calling and followed a fleshy curvaceous
seductress at Oshodi! ( Ik Muo: Christmas; for whom and for what).
The harsh realities of today’s Nigeria are still mercilessly afflicting fada
Christmas. One was so broke that he
decided to hustle as a labourer at a construction site for N2000 daily and due
to hunger, he stumbled in the process.
Another could only gift ‘ pure water’ to
the bemused children, promising them a
better outing come 2023.
However,
leaving the jocular stories about the travails of Fada Christmas, there are
many serious reasons that have forced me to ask on behalf of the masses(
everything is always done on behalf of the masses without their consent), ‘which kain Krismas be dis’ ( WKKBD)
for federal ‘ASUUists’ whose
8 month salaries were ‘ NGIGErised’ (and turned into daily-paid laboreres on top
of that), and their students who are trying to catch up for the 8 months emergency holidays and whose
lecturers keep referring them to Ngige at the slightest provocation? WKKBD in a
situation where fuel -if available- goes for N280?litre( allegedly @ a landing
cost of N400) in a government run by people who wanted to crash this country
over N97/litre price? WKKBD for 133m Nigerians in multidimensional
poverty, 28m of whom earn less than N100000 annually in an environment when general inflation is 22% and still counting(
highest since September 2005) while food inflation is 25% and where Nigeria ranks 103 out 121 countries facing food
crises- despite the abundance of arable fertile land? And those of them lucky
to have money in the bank cannot withdraw same because the new currency is
scarce? On 21/12/22, I went to a neighbourhood shop to restock with a packet of
Lipton tea. The woman said it was too costly for her to stock. I went to a
nearby supermarket and it was N530. I bought the one that just finished for
N250!
WKKBD
for the unemployed youths ( 66% of them) who are looming the streets and
selling their voters card for a day’s meal to heartless politicians who are openly
denying their previous promises and yet promising to air-condition the Sambisa forest
come 2023, when we should be deploying
123% of our resources to debt servicing alone. WKKBD when everything about 2023
and going forward is gloomy: debt of N51 trn (the request for another 800bn+
has just been made), when the Debt Management Office, which has been a
co-conspirator with the Government has blown the alarm about ‘threatened
debt sustainability’, when the US$, if available goes for N800, when as
much as 94m barrels of oil are stollen daily and when we are hearing stories of
N70trn stollen (with account numbers, names and banks).
Which
kain Krismas be dis
for members of Zamfara community who bankrupted themselves to pay a protection-levy of N20m to bandits;
members of two LGAs under the control of bandits in Borno state and people whose relatives were in the 5 busses
kidnaped by audacious terrorists on their way to Abuja, and asked to provide N50m
in these dry, hard times? WKKBD for residents of Asa, Agbon, Ibeku and Oja-Odan communities in
the Yewa-North LGA of Ogun state who have just received a love-letter
from an armed gang asking them to ‘wait
for us’? What of those in Southern Kaduna whose 28 brethren were killed
and houses burnt ( 5 days after a
previous attack and murders)by these invisible
and powerfully armed marauders?
What of those at Eha-Amufu where about 150 have been killed since 2021, 50
killed two weeks ago and who were subjected to another round of attack less than a week later? Last two weeks (circa 5/12/22) my wife
encountered a family re-enacting the Biafran experience; who slept in the bush
for days and who ran all the way from Ehamufu to Oraeri Anambra state for refuge. WKKBD for
Enugu people, who have just declared a
PPP(Peaceful Painful Protest) starting from that same 25/12/22
because we cannot peacefully celebrate Christmas while our
brothers, sisters, women and children are being slaughtered like chickens in
Eha amufu? They have resolved to shut down the state and come
along with sone corpses of those recently killed by Fulani Invaders.
WKKBD for the people who are displaced, left with nothing,
wounded and lacking treatment, abandoned by those paid and equipped to protect
them? WKKBD for those who cannot go home, who are cancelling already firmed up engagements,
those in hiding? If you want to know, ask Andy Uba who had a wine ceremony for
his ‘dota’ at Abuja the other day or ‘The Young’ who had his own at Lagos or one of my townsmen
who monetised the wine ceremony outrightly! On my way home the other day, we
got to Nnewi-Amichi road around 7.8pm and the soldiers, who were supposed to be
protecting us, blocked the road 100% and disappeared! The driver made a u-turn
and this added extra 30 minutes to our travel-time. Why should they block a
federal highway that early in the day? Why did they disappear from the
checkpoint? Is that how to protect us? How would that impact on we diasporans
who were being encouraged to return home with the assurance that all is well?
WKKBD for the victims of the accident
at Cele-Lagos when a trailer fell atop 3 vehicles?
Yes; which kain Krismas
be dis? Well, it is still Christmas. As our people say, however the eye
is, it must still continue to look! And as Warri people would
say ‘at-all, at-all’, na’ im bad pass. For being alive, for
surviving the stress and distress of Nigeria, for still retaining our sanity
despite the unbelievable physical and fiscal bloodletting in Nigeria, and for
having survived 90% of Buhari era, we should rejoice. Even if we cannot afford the cows, rams and
goats, lets make do with what we can afford; after all, it is Christs birthday,
not ours. After all, when what is
desirable is not available, we make what is available, desirable!
Happy Christmas to all my readers, friends, frenemies and all men of goodwill, though we have a problem because everyman-and woman too- claim to belong to this club of men of good will. Actually, my elder brother belongs to a club called ‘Men of good will’.
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WKKBD: in ALL we're more than conquerors because when there is life there is hope!
ReplyDeleteNigeria is a country blessed with human& mineral resources but our political class has ture them to a course but I believe that God is not man, one day he is going to raise a man like jerry lawlins of Ghana.
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