War Against Coro: Rising figures, Desperate measures, Discordant tunes and Weird solutions - Ik Muo, PhD.

Last week, (2021: My prophecies and predictions) I started with the description of the new year as a nothing beyond a construct for planning and administrative purposes. Within the week I came across an article by Valentine Obienyen( I think he is Peter Obi’s publicist), which ‘supported my motion’, when he described the  new year as just ‘a transition without inherent capacity to effect events in themselves. If we have promulgated bad policies for the past 6 months, crossing over to another year will surely NOT put our previous wrongs, right. The article was titled Continuity amidst change. This reinforces my earlier premise that January 1 in itself (apart from being my birthday) means nothing, except what we make of it. That is by the way

Now, back to the global War Against Coro(WAC).  All over the world, the second wave is on rampage and there are as many strains as there are virologists. Globally, confusion is the best way to describe the situation and desperation the best way to describe the steps being taken. Even though we are fighting the same war, governments are taking contradicting steps; vaccination figures are encouraging but with its own controversies while some people have designed some weird solutions.  So, why did the second wave come upon us?  Disregard for the simple protocols and nothing more. On Sunday,17/1/21, I attended Mass for the first time in Lagos this year at our Parish that adopts the anti-Coro NMNE (No-Mask-No-Entry) policy.  I observed a disconcerting phenomenon. People would mask-up, gain entry into the church compound and then a good number will convert theirs into jaw-masks while others would remove the masks outright, put it in their pockets, insert it into Bibles or hymnbooks, drop them on their chair or just clutch them in their hands. When I insisted that they masked-up (I am a church-warden) some obliged but a good number also felt I was being meddlesome. One actually defiantly shouted: I have heard you; and only grudgingly put the damn thing when I refused to leave his presence! Our attitude and disbelief is the major cause of the second phase! Of course you are aware that Lagosians have continued clubbing recklessly in a nothing-mega( nothing is happening) attitude!

The major news this week is the resumption of schools on 18/1/21, a day, incidentally, the PTF warned about the possibility of a 2^nd lockdown. That day, I listened to the smooth-talking Sonny Echomo, the PermSec of the Federal Ministry of Education(FME), on Arise News. He clarified that schools had the right to open whenever they were ready and adopt whatever model was best suited for them. He then informed that the President had approved funds for all the Unity(?) Colleges that they would follow up with the Federal Ministry of Finance to release the funds so that the schools would be properly equipped  with necessary items. But the students have already resumed! And that is just for FGCs. How about those which are not lucky enough to be under the broom-based FG? Actually, not much has happened to the state of our schools between the time of the first closure and now. But following-up with the ministry of finance after students have resumed is not the only issue. The FME announced  that schools would resume on 18/1/21, then announced that the date would be reviewed; PTF announced that schools would open as scheduled unless the  FME said otherwise and then the  FME confirmed the opening date, restating the same pre-conditions  it imposed  last year, even when it is obvious that the government had not done anything since October 2020 to improve the preparedness of the schools. And the following day the Minister said he had reservations about the reopening of schools! Reservations? And then why did he go ahead with the decision? Even then, the House of Reps opposed the school reopening, suggesting a 3month postponement while ASUU and all the Medical Unions in the country advised against the reopening.

In Lagos where schools have opened, civil servants are to resume on 1/2/21 and I ask: are the teachers not civil servants?  Some school heads were confused as to the protocols and how to enforce them but even then, what happens when the students leave school, on the cramped busses (including school busses), at home and in the neighbourhood? Amidst all this, Markets, Churches, NYSC camps and private businesses are open while the NIMC super-spreader registration is still on. And while Federal Government informs that the second deadlier wave is on rampage, Oyo State Government says the state is still on first wave though it threatens to shut non-compliant churches. Kogi State Governor, the reluctant 2023 presidential candidate, argues that there is no Coro at all and rejected the vaccines, saying it is meant to kill while the Government of Rivers State has just (20/1/21) ordered workers on Levels 1-13 to stay away from the offices!. It is also perplexing that while we closed schools in the first time when the Coro tally was about 500 daily, we are now opening schools when we average 1500 daily. Meanwhile, Rwanda and Malawi, which have 11000 and 12000 cases, 142 and 300 deaths, are closing theirs! Rwanda has even adopted a modified lockdown for its capital.  Amidst this confusion, I believe that we need to design how to live with the mean virus which is NOT in a hurry to depart because it is a guest which came with its own chair!

Meanwhile, the figures continue to balloon alarmingly as we had 1,867 on 15/1/21 (from 23 states only) while Lagos  recorded 10436 cases between January1 and 17^th( 901 on 17^th) with at least 4000 being treated at home  and fake Covid-free certificates being hawked in the streets. The state demand for oxygen  now  hovers around 360 cylinders daily  and the governor has just announced that malaria symptoms should henceforth be treated as Coro, until proven otherwise. Nationally, 20% of all recent tests returned positive; there were 70 Coro-related deaths last week, the highest in the last 6 months and our treatment centres are being overwhelmed while our health workers continue to be alarmingly coronised (15 doctors in Nassarawa Specialist Hospital, 8 at FMC, Asaba and 53 health workers in Edo state).  731 Batch B Corpers have been coronised and Lagos College of Medicine  hostel was shut over Coro-invasion while heavy-weight deaths continue, including Ndubisi Kanu, Onyeabo Obi, Akin Olugbade Shaka Momoh and Charles Uzodike, Udo Ekpenyong and Msgr Madu, just as more celebrities are being coronised including singer Paul Okoye and Andy Murray. This does not mean that only bigmen are being afflicted; it just means that their coro-affliction is more newsworthy!

Across the world, it has also been a basket of unsettling developments. The global death tally has passed 2m (2400000 cases and 397611 deaths the US) and in Uk, which has just tightened international entries, a patient is admitted every 30 seconds. France has imposed tighter restrictions; Japan continues with its emergency regime and Germany has also extended its lockdown to 14/2/21. Meanwhile, China has continued its magic, building a 1500 bed hospital in 5 days and the Grand Slam has been infiltrated by Oga-Coro as players have been subjected to hard-quarantine as a chattered flight was Coro-infested.

While Nigeria is still bothering with storage capacity for meagre 100000 units, regulatory protocols and fake vaccines, other parts of the world are moving on with their vaccination programmes.

Biden is promising 100m vaccinations in the first 100 days; India has launched the most extensive vaccination programme in the world, targeting 300m by July while UK , which has already jabbed 3.5m, (an average of 140 per minute), hopes to jab 15m by February. Globally, 80m doses have been dispensed so far (out of which only 25 are in Less Developed Countries). However, there are worries about post-vaccination deaths, which has hit 29 in Norway  and 55 in US, and others showing serious side effects. Meanwhile new variants have just been discovered in Ghana and Kenya  and the FG has released N10bn for local production of vaccines. The question then is how do we develop vaccines for an amoebic virus that changes its character every other day? Which variant will the vaccine treat? One thing though: a recent  NOI poll indicates that 60% of Nigerians are ready to take the jab.  And then, fakery is not an indigene of Nigeria as  a fake NHS staff has injected a 96 year old with a fake vaccine, after charging a whole  £160( circa N83000)!

On the treatment, it has just been ‘discovered’ that Ivermcitin is relevant to the containment of this (I am not sure if it is curative or preventive) and true to our character, its price has jumped up by 1000% in the past one week. Meanwhile, I just remembered that Doyin Okupe is a doctor when he hypothesized that Coro spares the poor due to the abundant sunlight they absorb during their restless hustles, which converts some chemicals in their body to Vitamin D, especially, D 3, which boosts immunity and checkmates respiratory diseases. Since then, I have been hanging out in the sun, however unpalatable it is! However, the latest medical breakthrough came from Iwo, where the Oluwo Oba Abdulrosheed Akanbi has declared, based on the power bestowed by God to kings,( including those who practice freestyle pugilism) to legislate on his behalf that any coronised person who entered Iwo would be automatically healed.

I am already creating a Special Purpose Vehicle to buy up and renovate all hotels in Iwo, preparatory for unprecedented medical tourism. And then, this one; some superstitious villagers in Chikuzen, Fukuoka Prefecture in the south west of Japan have constructed a giant guerrilla-like figure, named ‘Giant Straw Scarecrow Gorilla: Proud Gorilla 2020’, to protect the town from Coro by scaring the virus away from the town.

It took them 2 months to ‘design and construct’ this anti-Coro, 7-meter-high effigy, made of steel and straw. The guerrilla was chosen as a symbol of strength and power, to ward off the stubborn and persistent Coro. This is a response to the failure of their other god, legend of Amabie. to protect them from Coro in the past one year

Meanwhile, Chinese economy grew by 2.2% in 2020; the only country (major) that experienced growth last year.  This comes as an independent investigation panel holds that China should have acted faster when the virus first broke out. How can China, from which Coro emanated be growing while other countries which caught it later on are on all fours? Should this revive the conspiracy theories or should other countries ‘humble themselves’ and learn from China? (that is if China will show them the way!)

- Ik Muo, PhD. Department of Business Administration, OOU, Ago-Iwoye. 08033026625